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This is the official blog of Winna Efendi, author of several bestselling Indonesian novels.

Minggu, 27 April 2014

(book) To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han



First time reading Jenny Han!

First off - the cover's so cute. I love everything about it, from the marker-pen style title, the Korean girl with a dreamy look in her eyes, her room decor, her clothes, they fit everything the book says Lara Jean would be.

It is also the first book I read to bring up Korean-American culture. Granted, there's not much of K-pop and even Korean food and their traditions, but I think they summarize the life of a Korean-American teenager pretty accurately. Story wise, it tells the story of sisterhood and contract dating, which is so much like a K-drama it's amazing.

At first I had my reservations. Contract dating is a cliched way to carry a story, because we know how it begins and how it will end. However, the story's fluidly moving from scene to scene, and I begin to grow to love the boy as much as Lara Jean does. There are many accidents that sound too good to be true, or too coincidental, but overall I enjoy the book and pages just flow by in one sitting, and I don't want to stop.

Lara Jean is quirky cute. She's lovable even though she's sometimes annoying and her head's up in the clouds so much that I want to shake her. But she's almost your stereotypical K-drama character, a little odd, dramatic, with a tad bit of realism that keeps her grounded.

Despite that all, I wish Lara Jean's relationship with Margot is developed better. As much as I usually don't like epilogues, I would really love to have one for this book, to see how everybody's doing, to see more of a conclusion instead of the open ending.

A full 3.5 stars out of 5.

Senin, 14 April 2014

Rupa-rupa wajah penulis



Sejak dulu saya percaya bahwa seorang penulis memiliki berbagai 'wajah'. Awalnya, memang sulit menemukan wajah yang nantinya akan menjadi ciri khas seorang penulis. Saya pun demikian. Gaya menulis dan pilihan kata saya berubah-ubah, tergantung dari apa yang baru saja saya baca, penulis dan buku yang saya idolakan, sampai 'wajah' yang ingin saya adopsi dan gunakan. Tapi, pada akhirnya 'wajah' sendirilah yang akan muncul, dan tetap bertahan. Setidaknya, demikianlah yang terjadi pada saya.

Proses menemukan jati diri ini butuh jatuh bangun, entah berapa banyaknya kritik. Kritik membuat saya sadar, mungkin jati diri ini masih butuh banyak dipoles. Mungkin ia bukan jati diri yang tepat buat saya. Mungkin juga, jati diri ini sudah benar, namun belum cukup mantap. Pujian mengukuhkan sedikit jati diri yang perlahan-lahan terbentuk. Dari langkah-langkah goyah, akhirnya saya menemukan 'wajah' sebenarnya. Bagaimana cara mengetahui itu adalah 'wajah' yang tepat? Percayalah, saat kamu menemukannya, kamu akan tahu.

'Wajah' menulis saya sejauh ini adalah lembut, dengan kesan polos khas remaja yang menyinggung hal-hal berbau romansa, cinta pertama dan persahabatan. Hal itu terefleksikan dalam pilihan diksi, yang tidak pernah terlalu ruwet, karena saya memang pada dasarnya tidak pandai menulis dalam bahasa Indonesia. Dulu, waktu mulai menulis pertama kalinya, saya memulai dengan bahasa kedua saya yang lebih aktif digunakan, yaitu bahasa Inggris. Saya ingat banyak kritik yang dituai akibatnya - kurang menghargai bahasa Ibu, kurang lokalitasnya, dan masih banyak lagi. Jadi jika ada yang berkata bahasa yang saya gunakan enak dibaca karena sederhana dan mudah dipahami, sekarang kamu tahu alasannya :) Tapi, saya rasa, sedikit banyak pemakaian kata dan bahasa tersebut juga membantu mendefinisikan 'wajah' seorang penulis. Seperti Nina Ardianti pernah menulis dalam resensi novel Melbourne: Rewind, karya tulis seseorang mungkin memang mendeskripsikan sang penulis. Penulis yang ceria akan bercerita dengan riuh pula. Mungkin demikian, saya juga percaya itu.

Kembali lagi ke rupa-rupa wajah. Saya mulai tidak puas. Rupanya, ada 'wajah' lain yang belum tuntas terungkap. Awalnya, sisi gelap dari diri saya tersebut muncul lewat cerita-cerita pendek yang saya tulis di komunitas dan blog. Kemudian, saya mulai mengeksplorasi sisi tersebut lewat novella, yang kemudian dibukukan menjadi Unforgettable. Menurut Christian Simamora yang dulu mengedit naskah tersebut, naskah yang kali ini agak dark, ya. Dan saya setuju.

Jujur, memiliki wajah yang berbeda juga mempunyai resiko tersendiri. Pembaca yang sudah terbiasa dengan ciri khas seorang penulis mengharapkan konsistensi tersebut atau berekspektasi akan menemukan hal yang sama dalam karya-karya baru penulis. Bisa jadi, pembaca terkejut dan suka dengan sisi baru penulisnya, bisa juga justru tak suka dan berubah kecewa. Saya menghadapi keduanya. Ada yang tidak menyukai karya saya yang 'manis' dan menyukai perubahan ini, ada juga yang membencinya. Both are fine for me.

Pada dasarnya, saya hanya senang menemukan berbagai rupa 'wajah' menulis saya. It's like finding secrets on your own, a discovery that you've never known you're able to do. Sama halnya seperti menemukan kecintaan menulis dalam dua atau lebih genre berbeda. Sejak saat itu, saya bertukar-tukar gaya tulis dan genre, sesuai dengan perasaan hati dan aura proyek yang ingin saya kerjakan.

There are no limits. James Patterson bisa menulis thriller dan kisah cinta dalam dua novel yang bagai langit dan bumi. Windry Ramadhina awalnya menulis contemporary romance, lalu mendobrak tren dengan Metropolis yang terkesan misterius. Sefryana Khairil adalah penulis teenlit, yang sekarang menulis romansa kehidupan domestik dan dewasa. Ada juga yang tetap mempertahankan dan terus memoles wajahnya - Alexandra Potter dan Sophie Kinsella terus berkutat pada chicklit, Jodi Picoult pada tema-tema rumit kehidupan dewasa.

Bagaimana dengan saya? Well, I'm not sure yet. Saya ingin terus menemukan rupa yang berbeda dalam perjalanan menulis saya, dan mengejutkan pembaca sekaligus diri sendiri selagi melakukannya.

Picture taken from jamigold.com

Jumat, 11 April 2014

Mo (bagian 1)

Nama perempuan itu Mo.

Kami bertemu di depan sebuah toko buku bekas di dekat rumahku, yang kebetulan juga sejalan ke tempat kosnya. Toko buku itu persisnya bukan sebuah gerai yang menjual buku; malah menurutku lebih persis seperti rumah tinggal sempit berlantai dua, dengan lantai dasar yang dijejali penuh dengan buku, menumpuk di lantai, teras rumah, dan pekarangan tempat sebuah motor usang terparkir. Tamu-tamu yang lewat dapat mencomot sebuah buku yang menarik perhatian begitu saja, kemudian membawanya pulang, dan kembali dengan dua pilihan – membayar dengan harga yang dianggap wajar jika ingin menyimpan temuan mereka, atau mengembalikannya jika tidak puas. Semudah itu. Pada umumnya, buku-buku mengumpulkan debu, atau hanya dibolak-balik pejalan kaki yang iseng dan penasaran.

Buatku sendiri, toko buku itu adalah surga dunia. Aku seringkali menemukan jilid-jilid langka, dijadikan alas gelas atau tempat tidur siang kucing ras kampung milik pemiliknya, Pak Danu. Biasanya aku membayar seadanya, berapa lembar rupiah pun yang kumiliki dalam dompet. Tapi biasanya, Pak Danu cukup bermurah hati untuk menghadiahkannya kepadaku. Buat satu-satunya pelanggan tetap, katanya.

Tapi, akhir-akhir ini tambah satu pelanggan tetap di toko mungil itu. Perempuan yang kerap kali bercelana pendek sobek-sobek, kaus lusuh dan rambut acak-acakan yang tertutup topi baseball merah. Dia lewat setiap sore. Gemerincing gelang kakinya yang riuh selalu membuat kucing Pak Danu mengangkat sebelah telinga sebelum kembali mendengkur halus. Suaranya yang cempreng membuat kucing itu bangkit, menjilati tubuh, dan berlari keluar. Mo akan menghabiskan waktu membaca di ‘rumah baca gratis’ sampai malam, lalu pulang. Begitu setiap hari.

Ketika ditanya kenapa tidak membawa buku-buku pilihannya pulang saja seperti orang-orang lain, dia hanya tersenyum sumringah, memperlihatkan kedua gigi depannya yang besar-besar dan memiliki rongga kosong di tengah. “Nggak. Enakan baca di sini,” kilahnya. Padahal, tempat itu tak ber-AC, apalagi berkipas. Duduk setengah jam di sana cukup membuatku mengipasi diri karena gerah, dan rela bertahan hanya demi kecintaanku pada buku, terutama buku-buku gratis.

Jadilah, dia dan aku berbagi ruang sempit di rumah Pak Danu. Hanya sepetak tanah, dengan ribuan buku-buku tua, dan dua sosok orang yang seringkali tak sengaja berhimpitan, atau bersenggol lengan. Biasanya dia terlalu asyik dalam bacaannya untuk meminta maaf, atau mendongak. Hanya suatu kali, ketika ponselku tiba-tiba berdering di sela sunyi dan derik jangkrik malam, baru dia mengangkat kepala, terlihat seolah baru tersadar dari mimpi manis.

Aku menjawab panggilan dengan terburu-buru, merasa terusik sekaligus tak nyaman karena diamatinya sedemikian rupa. Kurasa mungkin itulah kali pertama dia benar-benar memperhatikanku, orang yang berbagi ruang bersamanya selama berminggu-minggu. Padahal, aku sudah sering terang-terangan memelototinya karena acap kali membaca apa pun yang ada di tangannya keras-keras, atau terbahak ketika melewati paragraf yang lucu.

Saat aku menutup telepon, Mo tersenyum kecil. “Pacarmu, ya?”

Eh. Dia pasti mendengar teriakan wanita itu di telingaku. KAPAN PULANG??! Ibuku memang suka membesar-besarkan masalah.

Aku menggeleng, singkat. Pun tak berniat mengelaborasi gestur itu. Bukannya membaca gerak-gerikku, dia malah mengulurkan sebelah tangan untuk mengangkat buku yang kupegang.

“Heh, kamu baca Mitch Albom?”

Aku menarik bukuku menjauh, tersinggung. “Bukannya semua orang baca Mitch Albom?” Karya terbarunya tentang waktu adalah novelisasi pelajaran hidup yang berharga. Sama seperti The Gift karya Cecilia Ahern, yang sayangnya lebih sering dikategorikan sebagai chicklit ketimbang buku inspirasional yang sensasional.

Kembali ke Mo. Dia mengangkat bahu. “Aku enggak.” Kenapa? “Terlalu berteori. Padahal, hidup nggak ada teorinya, kan?”

“Justru dia berbagi pengalaman, supaya orang lain punya pencerahan yang sama.”

Dia mengerutkan hidung, tak setuju. “Pengalaman hidup setiap orang nggak akan pernah sama, apa pun topiknya. Itu bukan sesuatu yang bisa dipelajari dari orang lain, apalagi buku. Kita harus melewatinya sendiri, baru bisa mempelajari maknanya.”

Entah bagaimana, diskusi kami berlanjut hingga ke warung bakso di depan toko Pak Danu. Di sela-sela seruputan kuah dan suapan baksonya, Mo masih sempat berargumen tentang petuah dalam buku versus pengalaman pribadi yang (menurutnya) tak terkalahkan. Baginya, membaca buku adalah sesuatu yang menyenangkan, hiburan, bukan untuk mendapat pencerahan.

Debat itu berlangsung empat puluh menit dan empat teh botol dingin kemudian. Dia lebih banyak tertawa dari orang-orang yang kukenal. Ketika tertawa, kepalanya terdorong ke belakang dan suaranya membahana, tanpa kendali dan semu malu yang biasa menyertai tindakan lepas kontrol. Dia melakukannya lagi dan lagi, tanpa merasa perlu untuk meminta maaf. Lucunya, ada sesuatu yang membuatku turut tersenyum saat menyaksikannya.

Dia seorang model. “Bukan model fashion yang di majalah-majalah gitu,” sanggahnya. “Tapi model tangan, kaki, rambut. Apa pun yang bisa dimodelin.” Dia terkekeh lagi. Kalau diperhatikan, bagian-bagian tubuhnya memang proporsional. Jemarinya lentik, seperti milik pianis terlatih. Kakinya cukup panjang, meskipun tubuhnya kecil. Lehernya pun jenjang, seperti seorang balerina. Wajahnya oval, dengan lesung pipit samar di ujung kedua sudut bibir, mata yang ekspresif, dan kulit cerah. Rambutnya sering berganti model dan warna – sesuai pekerjaannya.

Malam itu, kami bertolak ke arah yang berlawanan, dan kali ini mengakhiri pertemuan dengan ucapan sampai ketemu lagi.

**

Kamis, 03 April 2014

Beauty Stuffs from Luxola

It's been a while since I wrote fashion and beauty articles, or even lifestyle articles on and offline. I used to work as a part time journalist, filling columns for an in-house magazine and also a community called Fasity.com started by my good friend Vilia Ciputra.

I kinda miss it, actually.

Now that I have some new beauty products I just got from Luxola, I think this might be the perfect time to start doing so again.

Note: everything's purchased from Luxola.com, and images are taken from the website.

Zoeva Graphic Eyes + (Close to Heaven)

Rp. 87 000

This is one of my first purchases from Luxola, and having never heard of the brand Zoeva before, I was a little doubtful. But the price tag plus the flash sale discount eventually made me add this to my cart, and tried it as soon as it arrived.

The color is lilac - a little too bright for me, as when I wear it in daylight I look too made up and bright-eyed, like I'm going clubbing. With my fair skin, the shade pops out too much, so I don't think it's appropriate for everyday office-use. However, it'll look perfect for hangouts, parties and when I'm in the mood for a fun color.

The texture is super creamy and smooth, it glides so naturally on the eyelids and doesn't smudge when I blink too much or after a few hours use. Usually the waterproof liner I use disappears completely when I go back from work, even though I apply a generous amount in the morning.

Overall, an okay buy - but only because the color does not suit me too much. Everything else from quality to packaging is just lovely.

Crazy Rumors Bubblegum Lip Balm


Rp. 60 900

I'm a big fan of bubblegum flavor/scent, and I used to have this lip balm during my teenage years that smelled exactly like one, and I couldn't stop using it.

This one is vegan, and does not exactly taste like bubblegum, but indeed smells like one. The scent is not as strong as the one I used to have, but it was more natural-smelling. It helps hydrate my often dry lips, but has to be reapplied after some time.

The packaging is this cute little tube with soft pink colors - which is the main thing I love about this product. Very affordable, too. I don't seem to be able to find Vaseline or Banana Boat lip balms (which are the best and most hydrating, in my opinion) anymore, so this stays on the pouch in my everyday carry-all bag for easy use. There are also other yummy flavors/scents to try!

Zoeva Graphic Eyes + (Nude Reflection)

Rp. 87 000

This is the happiest make up purchase I've had in a long time. Out of the five products I purchased from Luxola, this one's the best.

I've raved about the packaging and texture of Zoeva Graphic Eyes+ before, but the color is what makes me want to collect all shades Zoeva has, which unfortunately are not available in Luxola and have to be purchased online from Germany.

The creamy shade looks amazing - it's nude but shimmery, therefore it pops and brightens the eyes. I have relatively small eyes that look tired without eyeliners, but as soon as my eyes get reflected by the light, they look made up without being excessively so, which is a good thing in my dictionary.

From first sight, I thought it'd be darker than the nude shade it mentioned it would be. But on first swatch, it just looked wonderful!


Will repurchase when mine runs out.

Laqa & Qo - Lil Lip Duo: Wolfman and Fairy Blood



Rp. 234 900

I'm ambivalent about lip products. On one hand I love pink shades on the lips, but don't actually wear lipsticks/glosses often. But as these come in tiny tubes, I thought I'd give them a try.

Out of the two, Fairy Blood suits me better. Wolfman is a pale pink shade that makes fair skin looks sickly and paler than it actually is, although I've seen it look beautiful on models who opt for a nude look. Fairy Blood is coral pink, and it does make my whole face look more alive instead of pale like it usually is.

The packaging is cute and tiny, with little tube sticks that look like kid crayons and can be tucked in the pouch of your bag to carry everywhere. When applied, the lipstick looks slightly chalky, although very easy to use. The texture is not as smooth as your average lipstick. Despite that, I find it to be quite moist and not very dry at all.


Might not repurchase, but a nice fit to add to my pink lipstick collections. Travel friendly. The price, not so much.

Maybelline Color Show: Shiny Beige Eyeliner 


Rp. 78 300

My last purchase of the day.

I'm a big fan of eyeliners, and I use them more often than shadows to make my eyes look more pronounced. That being said, I don't love deep dark colors so much, and I'm curious about the new nude shades.

However, the nude does not show that much when I applied it several times. I know that's the whole point of nude shade, but I expect it to brighten my eyes or at least look glowy.

I might be able to use it for the corners of my eyes for a subtle look, but that's about it.

Rabu, 02 April 2014

(book) Wonder by R.J. Palacio


Synopsis:

I won't describe what I look like. Whatever you're thinking, it's probably worse.

August (Auggie) Pullman was born with a facial deformity that prevented him from going to a mainstream school—until now. He's about to start 5th grade at Beecher Prep, and if you've ever been the new kid then you know how hard that can be. The thing is Auggie's just an ordinary kid, with an extraordinary face. But can he convince his new classmates that he's just like them, despite appearances?

R. J. Palacio has written a spare, warm, uplifting story that will have readers laughing one minute and wiping away tears the next. With wonderfully realistic family interactions (flawed, but loving), lively school scenes, and short chapters, Wonder is accessible to readers of all levels.

Review:

Everyone's been raving about this book, and deservedly so. I love it.

The story is gut-wrenching and bittersweet, although I didn't exactly find myself weeping because this is not a tragedy. Rather, I think it is a story of forgiveness, of acceptance, self respect, family, and friendship. Whatever Auggie is going through, he gets through it with quiet strength, supported by everyone in his family. I love his little family so much, and feels everything along with them as the story progresses. The author clearly has a knack in making readers relate to each character.

Narration wise, I'd love it better if the book is narrated by Auggie alone, and was surprised when we switched view from Via, to Justin, to Jack, to Summer, et cetera. Despite that minor disappointment that the lovely Auggie was no longer narrating, it helped me understand the other characters better - their motivation, their reasoning, and I think to a certain extent, is what the author hoped to achieve.

The cover and synopsis are catchy, and the story filled with a lot of heart. It's definitely one of the books I'll keep and reread in the future.

Amidst white lilies and roses


There were white roses everywhere. There were lilies too, exactly the kind I liked.

My aunt passed away last night, and I went to pay my respects for the last time this afternoon. She was the one who took care of me as a child, and as far as I remembered, the closest of all the aunts I had. She was bubbly and smiley, and the room was always full of jokes and laughter whenever she was around.

At first I thought it'd be okay. It's been so long since I last saw her, and felt guilty because I did not pay her a visit in years, even though I knew she was battling her disease. I thought I'd always have the time. But when I saw her photograph in the morgue today, and said my prayers and went to see her one final time, it surprised me that I felt choked up. It was a quiet grief, not the gut-wrenching, loud-sobs kind of grief, because it was reserved for closer family members. But just as I felt it I knew that pang, the emotion I felt when my aunt's mother - my grand aunt, passed away from the same disease a few years back. I remembered her kindness, her smile, the red envelopes she saved for me each Chinese New Year's day, and how I wrote a tribute for her in my blog too. It was more like regret, and sadness that I could not see her again, that I was not a better niece, and that I'd miss her from time to time, and remember this feeling when I think of her in the future.

I have no other words to express my feelings, other than my aunt was, and is a great person. She'd been there as I grew up, and I was sad not to see her at my own wedding, and that I would never get to be in hers. I would like to watch her grow old, see her during every Chinese New Year celebration, and be with her for a long time.

Farewell, and may you sit beside our Father, and be safe, and happy, watching all of us from above. Amen.

Image taken from bnbwebsites.com