On forgiving

I remember someone once said to me, "I'm not good at forgiving, and I never forget." I thought that was a very hateful thought, because you could spend the rest of your life in misery, not forgiving, not forgetting, not letting go.

It was yesterday morning when as usual, I turned the radio on as I got ready for work. It was a crappy morning and I was less than enthusiastic to even get awake. Someone was speaking about forgiveness, calling a person who appeared to have never forgiven her best friend for something that happened a while ago. Since it was a day of forgiving and peace, the radio hosts got the woman and her best friend on air for them to openly talk about their grief. I secretly think they might be hoping for some sort of drama - a bit of arguments here and there, instead of a peaceful making up session.

Somehow I realize - I'm not always that forgiving either. I never forget the ways people hurt me, and how I've hurt a lot of people in the past. Some friends I will probably never see again, the people I hurt unintentionally, the words I said that I regretted.. and the things people said that remained in the back of my mind, blistered and forever there.

You know, it's not easy to forgive. It's impossible to forget.

It's always there until it comes back to haunt you, and you could choose whether you would deal with it, or let it go.